Thursday, August 16, 2007
Very Moody today....Finally have sms Alan saying i very tired with him, maybe we should stop seening each other till month end..Let both of us think about it.. He sms me that,He always wanted to happy with me,but i alway give him a feeling that he have not done enough..After so many sms, Suddenly feel that problem is lies on me instead of him ? I feel so gulity now, hurt him so deep. He even sms me "I feel very tired, cos this thing always happen de."This sms wakes me up suddenly.. suddenly feel so bad.. im a bad person!! Cos i know he realli tried to change, i realli feel it... More care & attendion for me.. But abit sianz. sometime the way he say things will make me feel easier angry. Everytime once he waited to borrow money from me, i feel very sian.... Cos is like the money, i cannot use it for myself.. I just lent him 100, den he keep taking cad ok i admit tat he did take mrt.... !!but i give him money but he waste on the cad. abit sian not mah ?He's not a bad bf just too self-center. He always ask me wat to eat snack mah all this, He know i wan to diet he will help me control my meal... But he hate me dancing, which is my most fav hobby.Dun realli how to treat my family good? for being together 2 yr, we have nv celebrate before..... My birthday no special nothing at all.. Know wat? just even one slice cake im happy enough.I dun know why all my ex all like tat, like to take my $... But at least this one will buy things for me, before this bf I have nv get any present or gift from my bf before until i met him.. FINALLY my first present from bf a ODM watch.Im confuse................................ save me..Depresstion is killing me again, I saw 3G diva joined a dance competition and its just recently de.. Aug 6..I saw the photo hahaha the step is familiar.. ITS mo'fia by Dapump, steps by carol.. Saw yiwen,M,Nadeen & another 1 girl... So nice rite.. Have chance to perf.I was looking @ my Organiser... Wah Almost a month i didnt go for dance studio wu....I think if i continue like tat, carol gonna lost hope on me le... I must be still inside the box.From last time until now, I onli have perf 2 time? And its those mini pref.. Nv join competition before.. So paiseh rite? i been dancing for quite sometime le.. But... *cough*Feel so useless.. Am i realli tat bad ? So no ppl wanna ask me ? Or maybe too ugly ? Too Short ? Too fat ?Am i just wasting on dancing ? Oh man..... !I gonna wake up & stop dreaming....
♥ the world will turn WILD.
6:34 PM
