Saturday, July 21, 2007
So Sianz... Was thinking of quitting dance again..... !!Think i cant go far anymore... Was adding this new fren i got to know ... Wah... She got so many pref before.. EVen have a team..Until now i didnt really have any show case before... About the suntec dance compeition, was thinking of not going for the audition anymore cos i think carol already have the ppl on her mind, just she dun wan to be mean ? She say every girl in the group must be equally strong, i dun think im strong enough. tat day so-called audition, but onli 7 of us turn up.. den she call-off the audition..next week ask all the ppl who is interested to come... >__<;;; I very emo now... !! Saw Music forest's costume and some of the step.. they are quite strong.. !! They wear a Shiny colour bikini inside & black jacket, short skirt AND a big RED colour on top... !! O_O;;;most of them are very flexible !! Some-how thinking why am i still here, with no good flexible & no team...Haiz !! is it because i dun know much people ? I been dancing for many different studio but i think maybe the time duration i stay is too short ?SianzCourage me !!!! hahahaha
♥ the world will turn WILD.
1:45 PM
Saturday, July 14, 2007
To Jamie, Realli Sorry to change the Template of this blog..... Hahaha cos i dont wan to see my photo.. Today's mood damm down, Depresstion is killing me. I got so many thing wan to do... Dun know where to go ? Wanna re-take 3G but scare waste money... is 900 leh, not 90 cent or neither 9 bucks.Feel that ppl looking down on me? OF cos.. is myself... !! I be looking down on myself. Have talk to carol,She say she can see my confident is growing, If i wanted to re-take.She quite courage me,but i got tell her about me money problem (cos i not rich at all).. She say is the best if i can do both at the same time cos you dun know wat will happen next de. And im the first one who told her that i wan to re-take, She say my this kind of Attidudes is GOOD.. (so happy)I planned to learn Nail art den work as free-lance. = ) but dip course is 3k = (Alan - I know his everything, Sad Angry Happy... But he know nothing about me.
♥ the world will turn WILD.
2:27 AM
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
I think i getting more and more nuts when im with alan, So tired... I still cannot stand the selfishness in him... Asking me not to sleep accompany him shop online? watch Tv?Whenever i complaint my thing he dun listen den when is his turn i MUST listen no matter how busy am i...So sick and tired rite ? Today i having depresstion mood, Was thinking of killing myself. I was talking to alan, he ask me dun talk, his thing is more improtant (cuz he wan to order thing online & he dun know how to pay by paypal.)... He's everything is more improtant den me.. My hand wet "Bu xiao Xin" touch his watch wah his face turn black... We qurral, he giving me a feeling that he pushing everything to me as everything is just my fault.. I should listen to him, I should put my life / Family / fren behind him... HIS'S THE GREATEST.. ! Finally i cant stand i slap-ed myself so hard, he keep quiet for quite sometime.. Soon i cried (of Cuz)..After that he cant stop keep saying thing like everything is my fault So i shouted at him.. Den i went to the toilet. I started to bang my head on the wall,i bath for long time, Soaking myself in the shower. I started to think alot.. Realli alot.I rememeber last time i qurral with my family about alan, I was so angry i throw a big box out of the window. Den i shouted to my mum, if i jump-ed down will i like the box ? she just say i siao,And walked away... Feel so unloved realli wanted to jump down.... If one day i realli does that, will there ppl who care for me ? and not saying i siao but show me some concern... ?even my family thinks that i say say onli wont do it de, so cant be bother.. Have they ever imgain that if one day i realli do it.. One day when i break down.....Alan cant show any concern....... Dont know i have this bf for wat ? i cant even understand myself.. I start to be very tired cos i sleep almost 3 - 4am everynight now... i was very tired..When is him i ask-ed him to stay late, He will give me all the bull-shit.but me ? i cannot use any excuse but to listen to him..... !WHY ? WHY WHY WHY ?I realli tired of my life....
♥ the world will turn WILD.
1:12 AM
Sunday, July 1, 2007
About ishi's news, really feel so sad for him,that's was 3yr ago, when he replace karen for 2 class (CSC dance class)...Saw him on the TV (Superband), Den at music forest den at Studio wu... June 2, i went to studio wu's musical night Still saw him dancing & singing his own compose.(So nice)And now his died.... So susprise.... So shock. Nowaday very lazy to blog, dun have the feel to write too... Feel like quiting dance Cos now im quite tired, Should continue wasting the money or Continue to Hope to be someone one day.. But i found out that those ppl who is sucuess in their dance is RICH. Im just a normal family 's daughter, Do i have the chance... I do need to work realli hard, But i scare i wasting money.... At our 3G last master training, Carol told me "Krist do you know actually you can dance very well, But just ur inside pulling you down". den She say short people is quite hard to find group all this... ! Cos in is dance market, who dun want averge Height girls to dance... Unless i know how to pull up myself.... About friday class (music Forest) The steps getting more and more fast & Hard... ! I saw those Dance Crew's student.. They all have alot strenght... ! dun know when i can dance with them...... haizSo depress....
♥ the world will turn WILD.
3:40 AM
